Over at Exuberant for Life, I just posted a two part series of blogs on being thoughtful to someone with DID. I think the info there can be helpful to those who are dealing with parts in themselves and/or in others. Feel free to take a look over there for lots more info about such things (and many more).
Showing posts with label A Part. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A Part. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 5, 2019
Feelings, Parts and Math
According to a recent webinar I watched by Dr Jim Wilder, narcissism is caused by the inability to regulate the right brain emotion of shame. Borderline is caused by the inability to regulate the other five.
I started this blog because I thought there was some connection to DID and these other issues. Whenever I hear about parts or someone dissociating, I "hear" [or sense or see (discern) intuitively] there is a connection to these right brained feelings. I just have NO idea yet how it technically works.
The point is, dealing with our emotions -the six right brained ones God built us with- is our JOB and our Mama's are supposed to help teach us by the time we're four how to get back to peace within 90 seconds from any of those six.
So, the job of Mom-ing is all consuming as we attune and feel our children's feelings, naming them after we've tuned in. This is the work of Dr Dan Siegel, whom I share here (I hope I finished those links!) and in my other blog/s.
What happens if our Mama's didn't know how to do this or they believed it was their job to keep us from feeling certain things which God intended for us to live well???
Many of our Grandmas or Great Grandmas (or both!) left the home where tending babies and toddlers was job #1 and went to work (or worked at home). Children were raised by people who might have lacked the skills to attune. This pattern of ignoring what needs careful attention becomes an emotional handicap and gets passed down until someone gets help.
One part of the journey as a person who relies on, obeys, trust in and clings to Jesus, is I have the honor of having God indwell me. I have learned when I cannot find a person to attune to me that He always will. I could share so many stories of those processes!
Another aspect affecting many of us this: according to Dr Wilder, trauma is simply the feeling we are alone when a bad thing happens.
From what I understand trauma can cause dissociation in creative children.
So...I while I'm not a whiz at math, it looks to me like there are connections to be paid attention to.
My hope is that this blog, while possibly not all based on proper "math" will be a starting point for discussion, research and being open to learning how to love ourselves. If we don't love ourselves we cannot love our neighbor!!! Loving ourselves and tending to what we truly need (not only what we perceive we need, which based on multiple factors can fall far short of God's intention for us) is a way of stewarding ourselves well and as we go through those processes we grow companion for others who might be dealing with some pretty challenging stuff.
Knowing we're NOT alone is often the best thing we can hope to understand...and I'm considering starting and hosting a Facebook group for people who are dealing with these particular issues, either with a therapist or on their own.
I started this blog because I thought there was some connection to DID and these other issues. Whenever I hear about parts or someone dissociating, I "hear" [or sense or see (discern) intuitively] there is a connection to these right brained feelings. I just have NO idea yet how it technically works.
The point is, dealing with our emotions -the six right brained ones God built us with- is our JOB and our Mama's are supposed to help teach us by the time we're four how to get back to peace within 90 seconds from any of those six.
So, the job of Mom-ing is all consuming as we attune and feel our children's feelings, naming them after we've tuned in. This is the work of Dr Dan Siegel, whom I share here (I hope I finished those links!) and in my other blog/s.
What happens if our Mama's didn't know how to do this or they believed it was their job to keep us from feeling certain things which God intended for us to live well???
Many of our Grandmas or Great Grandmas (or both!) left the home where tending babies and toddlers was job #1 and went to work (or worked at home). Children were raised by people who might have lacked the skills to attune. This pattern of ignoring what needs careful attention becomes an emotional handicap and gets passed down until someone gets help.
One part of the journey as a person who relies on, obeys, trust in and clings to Jesus, is I have the honor of having God indwell me. I have learned when I cannot find a person to attune to me that He always will. I could share so many stories of those processes!
Another aspect affecting many of us this: according to Dr Wilder, trauma is simply the feeling we are alone when a bad thing happens.
From what I understand trauma can cause dissociation in creative children.
So...I while I'm not a whiz at math, it looks to me like there are connections to be paid attention to.
My hope is that this blog, while possibly not all based on proper "math" will be a starting point for discussion, research and being open to learning how to love ourselves. If we don't love ourselves we cannot love our neighbor!!! Loving ourselves and tending to what we truly need (not only what we perceive we need, which based on multiple factors can fall far short of God's intention for us) is a way of stewarding ourselves well and as we go through those processes we grow companion for others who might be dealing with some pretty challenging stuff.
Knowing we're NOT alone is often the best thing we can hope to understand...and I'm considering starting and hosting a Facebook group for people who are dealing with these particular issues, either with a therapist or on their own.
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Getting to the Bottom of a Part
I am working on trying to comprehend the difference between our big six right brained emotions, what happens when we dunno how to feel those and what goes on with DID. My brains themselves feel addled from trying to understand in my soul what my spirit SEEMS to be continually nudging me to "get." Each time I feel like I get it and have some clarity, something comes at me going, "Nope. Not right."
SO.....whether you're dealing with parts or working through trying to feel your own feelings, I think THIS STUFF is amazing.
I got into their website today and printed off some worksheets, worked through lots of quizzes (yesterday) and am listening to the audio book by the author as well. WOW.
I really don't know how to classify it all because I don't have a technical background in any of this...I'm simply and utterly fascinated by the relational components to all of this....
Below are some specific links for you to check out in case any of them grab your attention. They've helped me get to surprising roots of stuff! I'm still sort of shocked, honestly.
I've read a lot of different materials from different places over the years, and so far this addresses it in a bit of a different way.
Angry?
Not assertive?
Co-Dependant?
Critical?
Intimacy Troublesome?
Overeat?
People Pleasing?
Perfectionist?
Procrastinate?
Lack Self Esteem?
Shy????
Take the Journey
SO.....whether you're dealing with parts or working through trying to feel your own feelings, I think THIS STUFF is amazing.
I got into their website today and printed off some worksheets, worked through lots of quizzes (yesterday) and am listening to the audio book by the author as well. WOW.
I really don't know how to classify it all because I don't have a technical background in any of this...I'm simply and utterly fascinated by the relational components to all of this....
Below are some specific links for you to check out in case any of them grab your attention. They've helped me get to surprising roots of stuff! I'm still sort of shocked, honestly.
I've read a lot of different materials from different places over the years, and so far this addresses it in a bit of a different way.
Angry?
Not assertive?
Co-Dependant?
Critical?
Intimacy Troublesome?
Overeat?
People Pleasing?
Perfectionist?
Procrastinate?
Lack Self Esteem?
Shy????
Take the Journey
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